Everything Lasagna

I apologize for the sub-par picture. I never took a picture of this lasagna because I initially thought it had been a failure. I took this with my phone and then ate the lasagna and realized holy cow it was delicious. This recipe is going to seem kinda nuts, maybe. I promise it's worth the trouble. I'd recommend that you only make it if you enjoy leftovers or if you have lots of people eating with you.




Ingredients:
1 package lasagna noodles
1 15-oz package of ricotta cheese
1 cup parmesan cheese (grated)
1/2 cup mozarella cheese (grated)
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1 pound ground turkey/beef/chicken/human
1 packet of sauce mix
1 15-oz can tomato sauce
1/3 jar pre-made tomato sauce (jar kind)
4 mini sweet bell peppers
1/2 cup diced white onion
20? pepperonis (just buy a pack)
6-8 leaves of basil, julienned

Boil a (LARGE) pot of water for your noodles. Preheat the oven to 350. Dice your bell peppers, onions, and basil.

Prepare packaged tomato sauce exactly as is done in my spaghetti recipe.

Cook your noodles SUPER CAREFULLY! They will break and become inferior. Stir very lightly. Be nice!

In a medium bowl (RIP my medium bowl 2007-2009), combine ricotta, mozzarella, parmesan, and oil. Mix them up really well, until it looks like one huge lump of unified cheese.

Coat a metal (foil?) pan with a little bit of Pam or Crisco or whatever you use.

Once your noodles and sauce are done, you are ready to build the lasagna.

First, layer the entire pan with lasagna noodles. Use about 1/2 of your meat sauce to cover this first layer. Next, create a single layer of pepperoni covering the sauce/noodle combo. For the next layer, use a rubber spatula to cover the lasagna with the cheese mixture. Do this like (ew!) you're frosting a cake. I know it's creepy.

Next, create another layer of lasagna noodles. Then use the remaining meat sauce to cover these noodles. On top of the sauce, scatter the basil, then the bell peppers and onions.

Finally, create one last layer of noodles. Use your tomato sauce (the one in the jar) to cover this layer and then if you have any parmesan cheese left over, lightly dust the top of the layer.

Cover with foil and cook for 30 minutes. Remove the foil, then cook 10 more minutes. You do this so the cheese basically doesn't catch on fire.

Now you have such amazing lasagna omg.

Peanut Butter Chicken

This recipe I consider to be a challenge. I challenge you to find a stranger combination of ingredients that results in something this good. The picture doesn't really make it look to appetizing, but this is definitely a winner. It's infamous in my family for being that one recipe with the peanut butter and soy sauce.







Ingredients:
2 boneless, skinless breasts per person
Rice (I use instant because I fail)
1 cup chopped white onion
1 1/2 tsp minced garlic
3 tbsp vegetable oil
1 cup water
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp soy sauce
2 tbsp peanut butter
1/2 tsp ginger (dried ginger available in the spice section is actually ideal)

There are many ways to prepare the actual chicken part of this recipe. I live in an apartment with no balcony/grill, so I always use my George Foreman. It works decently, but if you can avoid it, I really suggest you cook the chicken on skewers over an outdoor grill. That's how my mom does it. :) Anyway, cook it til it's done to your liking. Same with the rice.

The sauce is the important part. Combine the chopped onion (you can chop it in a food processor, it's awesome), the minced garlic, and the vegetable oil in a sauce pan. Basically, saute over medium to medium-high heat until the onion is translucent. Don't let it burn! Next, add the water, brown sugar, soy sauce, peanut butter, and ginger. Mix thoroughly. Once it's watery-ish, use a whisk to get the ingredients to combine really well. Bring it to a boil, then saute for just a few minutes (3-5?) over very low heat. It thickens a bit and the ingredients incorporate better.

Serve chicken over a bed of rice and pour sauce generously over the chicken. It's basically a really easy meal once you've chopped and diced and all that. I promise you it's so much better than it sounds. This is just a really fun thing to cook since it's so... bizarre.

Chicken Parmesan

I haven't been this excited about a recipe in a very long time. I never thought about making this until one day I was craving it pretty heavily. I went online to find a recipe, but, naturally, I had to revise it to make it better! The one I found was swimming in sauce, but I used a basic knowledge of food skillz and developed this bad boy. One of my best dishes yet.




Ingredients:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, pounded to 1/2-3/4 inch
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup olive oil
a package of basic sliced mozzarella cheese
1-2 cups seasoned bread crumbs
a bit of grated parmesan cheese
a bit of basil
1/4 a package of spaghetti per person
tomato sauce*

Begin by preheating the oven to 350. If you have a crazy oven that burns everything (I had one once, UGH), only preheat it to 325. This is a super delicate recipe.

Heat the olive oil over medium-high heat.

Whisk the egg and milk together in a small or medium bowl. Dip your pounded chicken in that concoction, and then into the bread crumbs (ideally, these are in a seperate bowl).

Now, add the chicken to the olive oil. Cook about 3 minutes on each side, or until golden brown. Note: the chicken will not be fully cooked, so ew, don't eat it.

Take out a baking dish (ideally either nonstick or glass) and pour about 1/2 cup of tomato sauce along the bottom. It shouldn't be a pool of sauce: just enough to cover the bottom very lightly.

Drop your chickenz into this dish. Drip a bit more sauce on top of the chicken breasts. It really doesn't matter how much: if you like sauce, go ahead and add a bunch! Just leave the edges sauce free, as if you're making a pizza with crust. Then, place a slice or two of mozarella on top of each piece of chicken. I only used one and it was perfect. Next, add a bit of parmesan cheese on top of the mozzarrella. Oddly, this recipe is more mozzarella-y than parmesan-y. If you really love parmesan, add more! Then, add another layer of sauce. Cover this with some chopped basil and perhaps a tiny bit more parmesan. Use a little more sauce to fill the wholes in your dish (places where there is no chicken), cause it will taste good.

Cook this in the oven 25 minutes, or until the cheese looks bubbly and not burnt. Ha.

Meanwhile, cook your spaghetti according to its directions. Once it is finished, strain it, then ADD IT TO THE SAUCE PAN with the remaining sauce. Swirl it around in the sauce so the spaghetti really absorbs it.

And once your chicken is done, arrange it how you like, and you're good! Pair with a medium-bodied red wine, I'd say.

*An Ingenious Tomato Sauce Recipe to go with it
Ingredients
1 15-oz can tomato sauce
2 Roma tomatoes, peeled
a bit of basil
1-2 tbsp butter (depending on your love for butter)
2 tbsp minced OR sliced garlic
a dash of red wine (recommend Chianti)

Heat the butter in a saute pan over medium to medium-high heat, until melted. Add the tomato sauce and allow it to come to a bit of a boil. Once it has boiled, reduce heat to a sort of high simmer. Add the Roma tomatoes. (Sidenote: peel your own tomatoes! Just boil water, add tomatoes, allow them to cook 2 minutes, then skin them with a knife!) Initially, I suggest you chop them, then later crush them in the sauce. Add the garlic and basil. Add the wine at the point of your choosing. If you like the taste of burnt-off wine, (that is, if you're not a wino), add it straight away. If you enjoy winey sauce, add it about 3 minutes before you eat. Let this all simmer while you're cooking something else. Ideally, you should let it simmer for about 8-10 min. Then yay, sauce!

Chinese Chicken Salad

So it has been quite a while since I updated, for a lot of reasons. 1. It's really hot, I don't like cooking in 90+ degree heat. And I don't really have my shit together. Anywho, this is what you do with leftover roasted chicken! It's really really yummy and the main feature is the dressing.




Ingredients:
Leftover roasted chicken, shredded
4 green onions
1/3 a can of crispy chow mein noodles
a bunch of lettuce

Dressing:
4 tbsp sugar in the raw
2 tsp salt
2/3 vegetable oil
3 tbsp sesame oil
6 tbsp white vinegar

Make the dressing first, cause it takes a few hours to settle/decompose/whatever. Combine all the dressing ingredients in, ideally, a squirt bottle thing for dressing. I am from the ghetto and I just used a Tupperware with a lid. Shake it vigorously for about a minute, then put it in the fridge. The key is to have the sugar in the raw dissolve.

When your dressing is ready, simply chop the onion and the lettuce as needed, combine with the chicken and the chow mein noodles, and drizzle with the dressing. Voila. Simple Asian salad. So good.

Roasted Garlic Chicken

Alright so this is another recipe I found and heavily modified, which effectively made it my own. It involves a TON of garlic peeling, so I would advise you either enlist friends to help you shuck that garlic or that you buy PRE-PEELED stuff. It is a delicious little bugger and the leftovers can be made into a salad which I will be posting later. ;)




Ingredients
1 whole fryer chicken
40 cloves garlic (holy crap) peeled
1 white onion
1/2 cup sweet white wine (pinot grigio or sweeter)
1/4 cup sweet vermouth
1/4 cup olive oil
4 stalks celery (1/2 -to 1-inch pieces)
2 tbsp oregano
1 lemon
salt and pepper
garlic salt

Preheat oven to 400. Also: START PEELING THAT GARLIC. It took me 1/2 an hour alone. Meanwhile my fiance read cosmo behind me. Awkward.

Once that madness is over, take the gizzards out of your chicken and, if you want, rinse him. Mine was really clean and I like the chickeniness, so I was okay without washing it. Put him in a shallow baking pan. I would extremely recommend a glass one cause my metal one was ruined after this. Then again, I own crap.

Cut the onion into quarters, and slice 1/4 of the onion into two-inch pieces. Put the other 3/4 in the poor sucker's hole. This will ensure flavor throughout.

Now pour the white wine over the little guy. Then the vermouth. Next, the olive oil.

Then decorate him with the oregano. On top of that, layer as much garlic salt as you'd like. I like a ton, as you know. The salt and pepper will be the final layer.

Cut the lemon and squeeze it over your dolled-up bird. Finally, sprinkle the garlic cloves, celery, and remaining onion on top of the chicken. It's definitely okay if most of it is just lying around it, because the baking process will cause enough garlic smell to intoxicate your chicken.

Place the bird in the oven and make a foil tent over him. I'd say cover it as tightly as you can get it.

Cook for approximately 30 min. per pound. Ours was 4 pounds, so we took 2 hours. For the first hour to hour and a half, keep him in the tent. The last hour or or and a half, remove the tent so that you can char the skin. Ocassionally, baste the bird with the juices around him. Honestly, I did this about every 15 minutes.

And then you get a yummy chicken! I would HIGHLY recommend you serve it in the juice because it is OH SO GOOD.

Chicken Scallopine

This is gonna look a lot like Italian fried chicken - but it's different! I work at Macaroni Grill and I FREQUENTLY remake our recipes at home because I'm gonna be honest - Mac Grill has GOOD food. I've been there over a year and I still am not sick of most of the stuff there. This recipe has a very lemony sauce and the flour coating on the chicken has fewer spices, which makes it different from generic fried chicken. Forgive the jumpiness of this post, I don't have good focus today.


Ingredients:
3-4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, pounded
2 cups flour
1 tbsp pepper
1 tbsp lemon pepper salt... stuff
1 tbsp garlic salt
1/8 cup lemon juice
1/2 cup wine
2 tbsp olive oil
1 cup butter
2 tbsp capers
1/3 bag/box capellini pasta

Defrost and pound your chicken breast. Next, prepare your batter. Mix the flour, pepper, lemon pepper,and garlic salt until it is evenly distributed. Coat the chicken in the mixture.

Over medium heat, combine olive oil and butter. Stir up the butter until it melts. Place the chicken in the pan and cook for about 2 minutes on each side. Make a whole in the center of the pan and drop in the lemon juice and capers. Mix it about a bit, then place a cover on the pan, leaving a little bit of air to come in and out. Cook for 6 minutes, turn, and do the same again.

During that time, cook and drain your pasta.

Reduce the heat to medium-low and add the wine. Mix that up, then cook again for another two minutes on each side.

Then it should be done. It should taste crazy lemony. It's really quite interesting.

Mom's Pasta Salad.

This is one of the famous recipes in my family. My mom invented this recipe decades ago and we have it at every family gathering. It's a great little pasta salad that ends up being fairly healthy if you use the right kind of pasta. We have famously used fun-shaped pasta for Easter or Christmas, along with differently colored peppers. This is seriously a hit.





Ingredients:
1 bag/box of pasta
1 cucumber
1 can olives
1/2 a bell pepper
1/4 a red onion
2-3 Roma tomatoes
1/2 bottle of Salad Supreme
1/2 bottle of Wishbone Italian dressing

First, boil your water for the pasta. While this is boiling, you should start chopping your veggies. I'm going to list the order that I cut the veggies. The order in which I do it prevents cutting board cross-contamination (ie it makes it neat and pretty).

First, peel the cucumber skin off with a potato peeler. Next, slice it (like a hamburger pickle slice) about 1/4 an inch thick. Once the whole cucumber is sliced, slice the pieces again in half. Set aside.

Next, dice the bell pepper. Basically, you want small pieces. See picture if you don't understand it. Don't use the seeds, if for some reason you wanted to. Sometimes you get lucky and a baby bell pepper is growing inside the bell pepper. That's always really exciting to me.

Now open the can of olives. Drain the juice. Slice the olives so that each olive yields about 3 slices. The best brand is called Lindsay. I don't know if they have it everywhere, but they definitely do in California and Georgie. It rocks.

Next, dice the tomato. Again, see the picture for size reference. I usually don't use the inside of the tomato with all the seedy badness. It just makes the salad gooey. I dice around that and throw it away.

Finally, cut up the onion. You want these to be really really fine. If you have a distaste for onions, you really don't have to use 1/2 an onion. My mom always only used a tiny handful of onions, but I kinda like more.

By now your water should be boiling. If it boiled earlier, I'm sure you had the intuition to go put your pasta in. After years of trying, I have found THE perfect pasta salad pasta: Trader Joe's Organic Radiatorre. These little... strange corkscrewy things are SOOO perfect and since they're vegetable pasta, it looks and tastes better. So boil your pasta per the directions.

When it's ready, strain the pasta and RINSE WITH COLD WATER. Make sure the pasta isn't hot. Again, that will yield gooeyness. This salad is meant to be crisp. Drain the water.

This is another salad that is best prepared layered. I learned layering from my mom with this recipe. In a big bowl, place a layer of pasta at the bottom. Cover it with salad supreme (really cover it now). Then, add a layer of your veggies. Cover that with a bit of dressing. Then create another layer and do this until all your ingredients are used up.

At the very end, cover with as much salad supreme as you have left, leaving about half the bottle full. Do the same with the Italian dressing, again, leaving half the bottle full. Stir the salad up and it's ready!

I LOVE this salad when it's fresh, but in my family we always had gatherings that we prepared it for, so we'd make it the night before. When you take it out after leaving it overnight, make sure to add more dressing, 'cause it gets all sucked up by the pasta.

I hope you like this salad a lot because it's sort of a secret recipe. :D

Pico De Gallo

I think this literally translates to something like a little bit of chicken. I may be totally wrong. Anywho, this is the recipe I've come up with for some really good pico. This is the best salsa for summer time because it's not overly spicy and because it's extremely fresh. One tip though: allow your tomatoes to ripen just enough before you make it. I used overripe tomatoes and it didn't come out so hot. It DOES make your whole fridge smell epic though. :)

Ingredients:
4 tomatoes
1/3 a white onion
1 jalapeno
4-6 sprigs of cilantro
juice of 1/2 a lime
salt and pepper

Easiest recipe to write down, I think. Chop up your tomato into salsa-sized bits. Next, chop the onion into pieces that are about half the size of your tomato bits. Very finely slice your jalapeno (see picture for size). Secret: I'm a wimp with spicy, so I only use about 1/2 a jalapeno and I don't use the seeds. I DO recommend you use the seeds and the whole jalapeno because it really does taste better that way. Take the leaves only off the cilantro and chop them up a bit. It might be easiest simply to rip them up. Mix this all up, add the lime juice, salt, and pepper, and you're done! Keep in the refrigerator (duh), and it could last up to about 4 days because of the acidity of the lime juice.

So yummy.

Mostly Homemade Spaghetti

I make a lot of Italian food. Probably because I'm Italian. Our kitchen reeks of garlic and wine-based sauces all the time. Anyway. I call this "mostly" homemade because the truth is that I use a spaghetti sauce mix packet. My mom does nothing but use the packet and sauce, but I add a whole bunch of junk to it. Mostly because I'm addicted to garlic. My spaghetti sauce doesn't follow the recipe on the packet of spices and it's much better and more exciting.






Ingredients:
1 pound ground turkey (/beef/tofu/human)
1 packet of spaghetti sauce mix (I use Lawry's)
1 15 oz can tomato sauce
3 oz water
6-8 cloves pressed garlic
1/8 cup minced onions
1 tsp basil
a dash Italian seasoning
1/3 box spaghetti

First, brown your ground meat. It's okay if there's a tiny bit of pink left over, that will cook out later. DRAIN. Mix in the minced onions. You want to incorporate it with the meat really well.

Add the can of tomato sauce and the water. Explanation for my water measurement: my mom has this rule that sticks in my brain, when it comes to spaghetti sauce: 2 cans of sauce, a half a can of water. She uses the little mini cans of tomato sauce. The recipe calls for paste. So I guess her rule gives the sauce the right consistency, since sauce is much thinner than paste. Anyway, long story short: I've estimated proportions and I only use the 15 oz can (and not the 7 oz cans) because I shop at Costco and they sell it that way cheaper.

Mix this up! Bring it to a boil. It should take just a minute or so. Beware, because tomato sauce tends to burst everywhere. Cover. Reduce the heat to low. Set a timer for about 16-18 minutes.

Begin to cook your pasta: boil the water.

While you're waiting for the water to achieve a boil, return to your sauce. Press your garlic and place it in the sauce mixture. TIP: unless you want three bites of garlic and the rest tomato sauce, you need to really mix that garlic in. I use a spoon with a sort of flat head, and I push the flat head on top of the garlic and mix it around. At this point, you can also add the basil and Italian seasonings. Don't overestimate the power of Italian seasonings: too much can be really really bad. Recover the sauce and let it keep cooking.

By now the water should be boiling. Cook your pasta as the box directs.

Of course, when all that is done you just combine ingredients and there ya go.

Note on this recipe: I have made more authentic sauces before. They vary from blegh to pretty good. I make spaghetti about once every week, so I know my spaghetti. Trust me on this: the sauce packet is God's gift to spaghetti. I have tried everything to make something without the packet and it's just not quite the same. I recommend this sauce in particular for spaghetti, BUT if you want to make something like ravioli and tomato sauce, you should make a watered down version. I'll put a recipe up for that later. :)

Caesar Pasta Salad

I created this a few years ago when I was trying to develop something for my vegetarian mother-in-law. She's vegan now, so it no longer works. Ha. This salad is intensely refreshing and the texture is crazy. There are so many modifications you can do with it, which makes it a good food for any meal.







Ingredients:
8-10 leaves of romaine lettuce
1/3 standard bag of fusilli pasta
2 mini sweet bell peppers
1/3 a red onion
1/3 cup grated cheese (any kind)
a dash of pepper
generous Caesar dressing

Begin by boiling water for the pasta. When it comes to a boil, add the pasta and cook per the instructions on the bag/box. While it's cooking, do your chopping.

Chop the romaine into approximately 2 x 3 inch pieces. Honestly, it doesn't matter, but this I have found to be what makes eating the salad most ideal, in terms of texture. Julienne the bell peppers. VERY THINLY slice the red onion into pieces about as big as the julienned bell peppers.

When the pasta is done, drain it and rinse with COLD water. Make sure the pasta is completely water-free.

Toss all ingredients. Layer, if possible. Cover with cheese and dressing, and pepper to taste.

This recipe would be good if you added tomatoes, olives, chicken, and/or salami.

Simple Taco Salad

This dish I consider my own because of the way I prepare it. The ingredients are fairly standard, though I suppose this combination of them might be unique. It can be made without meat and it would taste just as good, I'm sure. And here's a secret: I never use ground beef (allergies). Ground turkey tastes infinitely better to me and it's usually 95% fat free, so I highly suggest you try it.


Ingredients:
1 pound ground turkey/beef
1 cup taco seasoning
3/4 cup water
2 cups smashed tortilla chips (a great way to use stale ones)
8 leaves of romaine lettuce (approx.)
1/2 cup of shredded cheese (I use jack/cheddar mix)
2 Roma tomatoes
1/3 cup diced olives
3 mini sweet peppers julienned
2 green onions
cayenne pepper, salsa, sour cream, guacamole (all optional, though I think unnecessary)

Chop up the vegetables and chips. You want the chip chunks to be about nickle-sized.

Brown your turkey/beef over medium-high heat until no longer pink. DRAIN EXCESS FAT. It tastes better and is better for you, though it makes it less authentic, haha. Sometimes, I like to add dried minced onions to the meat and mix it in. You can find dried minced onions in the seasoning section of grocery stores. Add taco seasoning and water, mix. Wait for it to boil, then reduce heat to low and allow to simmer uncovered for 8-10 minutes.

While that is simmering, begin to assemble the salad. In a large bowl, combine a layer of lettuce, green onions, and chips. At this point, you may want to place a light coat of cayenne or taco seasoning over it. Then, place another layer of the same ingredients on top of that one. Do this until there is no more lettuce, onions, or chips.

When the turkey/beef is done, use a slotted spoon or something like that, and scoop up the meat a little bit at a time and let the juice drip off just a bit. You want some of the juice but not too much, or else you end up with taco soup. Pile it on top of the lettuce, leaving a rim of lettuce/chip/onion mix around the edges (it makes it prettier and easier to stir later). Next, add the cheese to the top of the meat. Reason: you want the cheese to melt a bit. Then, add the tomatoes, peppers, and olives.

Give it a good stir, allowing the meat and junk to stay mostly to the top. Serve similar to a casserole, that way each person gets a good amount of meat and lettuce. I think the point of this dish is the meat, unless you're a vegetarian. In that case, you should toss it like a regular salad and it would be a good idea to use salsa as a dressing and taco seasoning as a garnish or something.

I love this dish. I've only made it about twice, but both times have been delightful. It's 9:15am and I want to make it now.

Blackened Salmon

I have to admit a few things. First, I am clueless when it comes to cooking fish, for the most part. My parents - from whom I've stolen/modified most of these recipes - never really cooked fish until we moved to the east coast, where it was cheap. Second, I took a lot of this recipe from RealSimple.com. I would still call this my own personal recipe because I only used about half the ingredients, modified some, and modified cook times.

Ingredients:
1 salmon fillet per person
1 bag instant rice per 2-3 people
2 1/2 tbsp paprika
1 tsp cayenne pepper
1 1/2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp garlic salt
2 tsp salt
3 tbsp butter
1 can corn

Heat oven to 425.

At some point, cook your instant rice. Generally, you boil some water, put the bag in, let it sit for 8 minutes, then dump out the water. It really doesn't matter when the rice is done. Just keep it warm for now.

Combine paprika, cayenne, 1 tsp basil, 1 tsp salt in a shallow bowl. Mix 'em up.

Melt 2 tbsp butter in a skillet that can hold all your salmon. If you're making like 897 salmon fillets, obviously this does not apply to you. Dip the salmon in the butter, covering both sides. You should have a little bit of butter left over. Next, dip the salmon in the spice mixture, very liberally. You want a good coat on there.

Dump the remaining butter. It's okay and preferable if you have a tiny bit still in the skillet. Over medium-high to high heat, put the salmon in the skillet. Cook 2 minutes per side.

Take the salmon out of the skillet and place it in a square cake/casserole pan. There is a good reason for this. I firmly believe it cooks the salmon on the inside more than if you just lie it out on a flat pan. The heat on the sides of the pan sort of reinforces the heat around the salmon and cooks it more thoroughly.

Place the salmon in the oven for 8-12 minutes. I know that's a huge variable, but it really depends on the thickness of the fish. I had one thick one and one thin one, so we had to do one for 8 minutes and one for about 15. This recipe will obviously be more consistent if you use similar salmon fillets.

While that's cooking, combine the rice, 1 tbsp butter, 1/2 tsp basil, and the can of corn. Mix it up, add the rest of your salt (really, add as much salt as you like).

When your fishies are done, lie a bed of rice on a plate and top it with the salmon. And then you have the best salmon I can think of!

The Best Burgers

This isn't necessarily a recipe - it's more of a method. Sean and I cook burgers a lot now that it's summer and we have perfected the way we prepare our meat. I only eat turkey burgers (hooray allergies) and he pretty much eats sirloin burgers, and this ~*method*~ works for both types. I must add: damn, that bun is weak! Use sesame seed buns OR potato bread buns. They are infinitely better. We buy garbage buns cause we go through them slowly.

Ingredients:
burgers!
garlic salt
paprika
fresh ground pepper
21 seasoning salute (Trader Joe's)
cayenne pepper (if you want spicy)

Basically, defrost your meat if it isn't already. About 20 minutes before you plan to cook the burgers, prepare the meat. First, cover it in a nice coat of garlic salt. Next, grind some pepper over it - the more, the spicier, and with the garlic salt, even spicier. I mean, it's not like FIRE spicy, but spice... as in... many spices. Anywho. Add just a tiny bit of paprika. Top it off with a decent coat of 21 seasoning salute. If you like spicy burgers for some reason, add as much cayenne pepper as your little heart desires.

Cover the burgers somehow, then leave them on the counter. I think if you put them in the fridge to "marinate" or whatever you 'd call this, the seasonings start to kind of lose their fun. If you leave it on the counter, they seem to sink in more. That's what I've learned, anyway.

Then cook them! Naturally, we use our George for this. Turkey burgers = 6 minutes, open, add cheese (don't close!), wait a minute, done. Regular burgers = 8 minutes, open, add cheese (don't close), wait a minute, done.

Add whatever junk you like. Sean puts bbq sauce on his. I think that is vile. BUT I despise bbq sauce. It makes it taste like ribs, not freaking burgers!

I promise your burgers will be amazing.

Shrimp Scampi

After searching for years, I have never been able to find a really good shrimp scampi recipe on the internet. All I have found are very lemony recipes or ones with not enough sauce. Some don't even include pasta! Wtf!? Scampi and no pasta? I am insulted. Here is my recipe that I have synthesized out of several known recipes, with my own little touches.


Ingredients:
1/4 pound shrimp per person (cooked, peeled, de-tailed)
1 cup olive oil
2 cups butter (this is beginning to sound like Italian Fried Chicken!!
8 cloves garlic
2 mini sweet peppers (various colors!), julienned
1/2 cup white onion
a dash of white wine
a dash of pepper
a dash of coarse salt
a dash of lemon juice
1/4 package capellini pasta per person

Make sure your shrimp are thawed and ready to be re-cooked. I use the easiest, the cheapest, though not necessarily the tastiest shrimp available on the west coast: a bag of precooked, frozen, tailless, small shrimp. They work really well and tend not to be fishy. On the east coast, shrimp is cheaper than chicken sometimes, so if you live there, go for it!

Heat the olive oil in a standard skillet on medium to medium-high heat. Once it's fairly warm, add about half the onions. The onions should be sliced, like you would for a burger, then cut in half. Let them simmer while you press all the garlic cloves into the olive oil.

Here you should start boiling your water for the pasta.

Next, melt the butter in the skillet. Once it has melted, add the mini sweet peppers and the lemon juice. Stir all this junk up, then add your shrimp.

At this point, it's mostly an estimating game. I'd suggest at first you cook over medium-high heat, then when the mixture gets super bubbly, lower it to medium. At that point, add the pepper, salt, and white wine. Cook the shrimp until they're warm, which should not be more than about 2 minutes at this point.

Boil the capellini, strain, and so forth.

To serve, there are two options. For the first, you could place an appropriate amount of the pasta in a bowl, then pour the scampi mixture over it. The second idea is to combine everything in a big bowl and stir it. Either way, it's good. You'll find yourself eating more pasta if you use the second method. Which is good cause sometimes capellini is difficult to eat on its own.

This recipe is ALWAYS yummy. It's one of those estimation recipes that turn out really good no matter which ingredient you emphasize. If you like a really winey sauce, add a lot of wine. If you like the lemon, add more lemon, and if you like butter (heh, that's me), focus on adding less of the other ingredients.

Italian Fried Chicken

I can't think up a better name for this dish. It's sort of like chicken scaloppine, but there's no lemon or artichokes in it. ANYWAY. It's the boy's favorite, so I'm guessing I'm good at making this thing. By the way, the picture does it NO justice, and in this batch I kind of got impatient and didn't let it get golden brown enough.

This particular recipe will feed two people - add more chicken as necessary.


Ingredients:
3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 cup (approx) olive oil
1 cup (approx) butter - not margarine, it'll taste weird
1/3 cup white wine
1 green onion, chopped
6 cloves garlic, diced/sliced/doesn't matter
1 1/2 cups flour
1 1/2 tbsp garlic salt
1/2 tbsp salt
1/2 tbsp pepper
a dash of paprika
a dash of dried basil (optional)
1/2 a standard package of imported capellini pasta

Trim the chicken so there's really no fat on it. Fat, in this recipe, will taste funky. Pound the chicken breasts until they are really floppy. Be careful, 'cause you can cause them to basically disintegrate.

Prepare the batter. Combine the flour, garlic salt, salt, pepper, paprika, and basil in a bowl. Some people like to dunk chicken in egg or something else to get the batter to stick: I've had no trouble just putting the chicken in the bowl, then tossing it in the batter. But if you want, go ahead, I suppose.

Heat up the olive oil in a fairly large skillet. When it feels a bit hot when you hover over it, melt the butter IN the olive oil. Once the butter is melty, put the white wine in. Sidenote: I used Riesling, only 'cause I was out of chardonnay, thinking it would taste weird... it was actually pretty darn good. I really oaky, dry chardonnay would be ideal.

While it's heating, boil water for the pasta. Cook the pasta after it has heated, only about 3-4 minutes. Capellini cooks fairly quickly and gets squishy even quicker.

Set the heat to medium-high. Place the chopped onion in the oil/butter/wine creation, along with about 3/4 of the garlic you chopped.

Stir it a bit, then add the chicken breasts. Sprinkle the rest of the garlic on top of the chicken breasts. Trust me, if they suck in enough garlic, you'll be in heaven. Let them cook about one minute, then flip them, then cook about another minute.

Put the heat at medium, then LOOSELY cover the skillet. Allow the chicken to cook about four minutes on each side while they are covered.

Uncover the skillet, then cook them at medium-high heat, turning them every minute or so. Do this until they are golden brown.

Take the chicken out. You can degrease it if you want, but the grease is the best part. Place a nice helping of capellini on a place, then place the chicken on top. Use the junk in the skillet as a sauce for the pasta and chicken. This is how a real Italian gets shit done.

There ya go. This is a hit at my house and makes me feel like I have embraced my Italian roots while also possibly shaming them. I don't know why.

Bacon Cucumber Sandwiches

I make this when I feel guilty about a poor eating decision the day before. While I could always nuke a cup of noodles and probably acheive the same calorie count, this is is a slightly more nutritious and fun dish to make up.



Ingredients:
1 small Persian cucumber
1 small Roma tomato
3 thin slices of purple onion
2 strips of turkey bacon
3 pieces of fresh mozarrella
a dash of Italian seasoning
a dash of Italian dressing

First, cook your bacon. I use a George Foreman - I've heard many people complain about how the George takes a lot of the juices out of turkey meat, but I happen to love the way it cooks turkey.

If you're using a George, lay the pieces on the grill once it's warmed up, then cook for 4 minutes. Open the grill, turn them all over, then cook for an additional 3minutes. Remove from the grill, then place them on a stack of napkins/paper towels and degrease.

While your bacon is cooking, you can start chopping stuff. Peel the cucumber and cut into 1/2-inch pieces. Cut the ends of the tomato off and cut into 3 slices. If you haven't already, VERY THINLY slice the purple onion. Take some outer layers off so that the onion slices are about as wide as the tomato. Slice fresh mozzarella into pieces that can compose a 1/2-inch layer on your sandwiches.

Assembly time! Stack first the tomato, then the cucumbers in a little layer. Then drizzle a bit of Italian dressing over that. Crumble a bit of bacon on top of the cucumber. You could so easily omit the bacon if you don't want it. It'll still rock. Next put the onion on top. Then the mozzarella. If you find you have extra ingredients, like I did, put them on top.

Once everything is stacked, drizzle with more Italian dressing. The reason we drizzled earlier is so that the dressing is not limited to just the top and a little bit of the sides of the sandwiches. In case you were wondering. FINALLY add as much Italian seasoning as you'd like. The less, the better, I think.

ALRIGHT now you have a small, very healthy lunch! I ate this for breakfast today because I knew my cucumbers and tomatoes were getting old. I actually secretly used string cheese instead of fresh mozzarella, which was disappointing. Still, it's a really good little dish. I think if you added some balsamic vinaigrette it would be even tastier.

YAY first post.